Oddly Positive

I hope that by people taking about the subject helps other mums and dads feel more able to come to terms with their loss.

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#misCOURAGE 22/08/17 by Anonymous  

I'd like to share my story as it's oddly positive.

I'm in my mid thirties so most of my friends have started their families already. Quite a few friends have suffered miscarriages and a few close friends were open about the details of the physical side of things and I'd already heard that one in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Most of my friends who had miscarriages had gone on to have babies with the exception of one. 

My husband is a lot older than me and had had tests that indicated it might be difficult to conceive. It was a year before I fell pregnant. I started feeling nauseous and faint and generally miserable. 

I'd just fallen pregnant when my best friend lost her baby at 15 weeks. It was extremely traumatic for her physically and mentally. 
So when I started having a light bleeding at 9weeks I thought 'oh I might be having a miscarriage' but I wasn't as upset as most women in my position. I'd gotten pregnant! Yes that hated sentence 'at least you know you can get pregnant'.

It brought me comfort. 

I had a scan which confirmed the foetus had stopped developing several weeks earlier. The nurse told me it would take several weeks to complete the miscarriage and would I prefer to do it naturally or have the suppository or have the operation D&C. I chose the operation because I was feeling so crappy but they couldn't fit me in for ten days. 

So I went home and the cramps and bleeding started. It was another week before the pregnancy came out. It was obvious which blood clot it was. The next day i immediately felt better. The nausea disappeared, the faintness and the miserable feeling that I'd been experiencing as well. 

So to say I was happy when I miscarriaged is a bit strong but immediately felt physically better. Obviously I miss what could have been especially when I saw friends who were having babies around when mine was due too. But I didn't feel heartbroken either. I felt 'oh this is a normal biological process very sad but brings me some hope for the future' 

I think because it wasn't unexpected and my friends had been so open about their experiences that I just didn't get as upset as expected especially as it was early and not half as bad as what my best friend went through a weeks earlier. 

So I hope that by people taking about the subject helps other mums and dads feel more able to come to terms with their loss. 

And yes we could get pregnant and we did get pregnant again (I was terribly ill the second time too) and now have a healthy baby.

Annoyingly people would tell me all the time that nausea is a sign of a healthy pregnancy. I have first hand experience that it's not! And no it was not helpful thing to say. 

'I hope you feel better soon' is much better.

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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