#misCOURAGE story, 21/02/2017, by Laura Warner
In between having Oscar (6) and Archie (2) we lost three pregnancies. It is only now really that we have had Archie that I think I can openly write about it properly.
Just before Oscar was two we decided that we wanted to try for another baby and after a few months of trying in April 2012 I fell pregnant.
The first trimester flew passed and we decided to keep it a secret from everybody else.
The day came for our 12 week scan and we decided to take Oscar with us so not to arise any suspicion and during the scan they told us that our baby had stopped growing at around 6 weeks and I had had a delayed miscarriage.
The shock was immense and I was trying to control getting upset as obviously we had Oscar with us. When I got home we rung our parent’s to tell them what had happened and they were really supportive!
Two days later naturally I started to miscarry and unfortunately had the most horrendous time, ending up in A & E a few times with excessive bleeding over the next 8 weeks until finally I was booked in for a ERPC to remove any tissue.
It was my first time having a general anesthetic and I was a bit nervous but kept a brave face on as I was on a general day unit and didn’t want to make a fuss. After the op I felt positive and had read all the statistics and not for one second did I think it would happen to me again. How naive I was!
I then fell pregnant again pretty quickly in October 2012 and thought that I would never miscarry again and felt pretty positive and excited.
Again we kept it a secret and after 5 weeks I had a bleed. I went into the early pregnancy clinic for a scan where they told us that it was twins but one had already stopped growing. Obviously I was gutted but a part of me thought ok I still have one which now I feel bad about.
Two weeks later at 8 weeks I miscarried twin 2 and opted to have a ERPC straight away after going through hell last time.
After this pregnancy I went to see my GP who told me about the recurrent miscarriage clinic in St Mary’s hospital in London, I was told you have to have 3 miscarriages to be referred but she spoke to clinic and as I lost 3 babies over 2 pregnancies they were happy to see me.
The waiting list was 6 months long and my appointment was booked for May 2013.
I didn’t mind waiting as it was quite nice to just relax and not constantly be worrying about falling pregnant.
May soon fell round and I had blood tests and scans and eventually had a hysteroscopy to clear any scar tissue in my womb (the 3rd lot of general anesthetic in a year!)
Also from my blood test results I was told I had a blood clotting disorder and was told to go away, get pregnant and then take 150mg of aspirin to thin my blood from the day I got a positive pregnancy test.
This was August and I was pregnant by October 2013. I had scans up until 9 weeks at St Mary’s and everything looked great, the baby was growing so they discharged me and referred me back to Hillingdon for my 12 week scan. The aspirin had worked!
12 week scan day came around and Oscar was in nursery so we went on our own.
To start with everything looked fine to us then there was silence and then another Doctor was called.
We were finally taken into a side room and explained that our baby’s nuchal fluid was very high which normally indicates that there is something wrong with the baby’s chromosomes.
I was advised to have a CVS test done where they insert a thin needle through your tummy into the sac and take a sample of the fluid around your baby. There was a risk of miscarriage with the CVS but I wanted to know exactly what was going on.
We had to wait a week for the results which went so slowly and we had Christmas day in between then too. By now our families knew what was going on which made it a bit easier.
On the 27th December we went to the hospital to see the specialist midwife who explained to us that our baby had something called Ring 13 and as there was such a massive chunk of the chromosome missing the baby most likely would have a 6 week life expectancy.
Up until then to be honest I still believed everything would be fine so it hit me quite hard.
Between us we made the decision that at 17 weeks we would end the pregnancy as I didn’t want our baby to be born and be really poorly to live for such a short period of time and also to have to start explaining everything to Oscar which at 3 years old he was to young in my opinion!
On the 2nd January I went into hospital and was given a tablet and was then booked in on the 4th to come to delivery suite. That night I naturally went into labour and our good friend Steve came and sat with Oscar all night until my Mum and Dad came at 7am the next morning.
We went onto delivery suite which was a strange experience, the last time I was there was to have Oscar and here I was knowing I was in labour but with nothing to take home at the end of it.
The midwives were amazing and I can’t thank them enough, they gave me a memory box and some photos which made the World of difference.
At 5.10am on the 3rd January 2014 I had a baby boy who looked just like a miniature baby and I wasn’t expecting that at all.
The whole time I didn’t show a shed of emotion, in my head I was there to do a job and I just wanted to get home to Oscar.
When we got ready to go home at about 8am it was then when I was about to leave the room and leave our baby behind that it hit me and I broke down. I was exhausted and I wanted my bed!
We got home and thing’s were better when we had to be normal for Oscar and we went to bed for a few hours. I felt so much better after a few hours sleep.
Greg and I had full chromosome testing was came back clear and we were told it was a 750,000 to 1 chance that our baby got Ring 13, after having the miscarriages before I couldn’t believe it.
We were told to try again and that’s what we did and in March 2014 I was pregnant again. I took the aspirin and made it to 12 weeks, then 20, then 30 but everyday I expected something to go wrong.
I was booked in for a c-section as I had an emergency one with Oscar for the 29th December 2014. My official due date was the 3rd of January which would of been a year to the day since I was on delivery suite having the baby before.
My pregnancy, other than me constantly worrying was plain sailing and that was all down to the aspirin.
Archie was born on the 29th December 2014 at 9.36am weighing 7lb 5oz. We are over the moon and our little family is now complete but what we went through and what we lost never leaves you!
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