Not a day goes by where I don't think of both my angel babies

To be given something so precious and for it to be taken away so quickly has really broken our hearts.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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May 2016

Being told at the age of 16, when you're a typical school teenager only interested in hanging out with your friends, that I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, and that I may have complications getting pregnant or be infertile, just goes over your head. A couple of years went later when I started researching more into PCOS and read people's stories, I did in fact begin to worry! I always knew I wanted children, there was no question about it! 

At the age of 18 and been in a secure relationship for 2 years, my partner and I decided to start trying for a baby, as we knew from the research we had done, it would probably take a bit of time before we conceived, which it did. My doctor put me on Metformin for my PCOS, to help regulate my cycles and help me ovulate. 

After 3 years if trying, in May 2015 I finally fell pregnant aged 21. We were over the moon, excited, happy, every good emotion you can think of! All went well for a couple of weeks, then when I was coming up for 7 weeks pregnant, I noticed I had started spotting. I tried to reassure myself, thinking it may be normal. I managed to get an appointment at the EPU for a few days time. But by this point my bleed had got heavier, and I just knew there was no hope.

I went along to my appointment, where they scanned and could not find a heart beat. We were truly devastated and heartbroken!

It took a few weeks for us to get back on track with our emotions, but we started trying again. 6 months after my miscarriage, in December 2015, I fell pregnant again. Again we were very happy, we couldn't believe it had finally happened again. But in the back of our minds there was that worry, what if? 

I managed to get past 7 weeks, I was coming up to 10 weeks when I started feeling cramps. We knew this was normal in early pregnancy so we didn't jump to conclusions, until the cramps were accompanied by bleeding. I felt like I had failed. Again we had been booked in for a scan at the EPU, where they said there was no heartbeat.

3 months has now passed, and there's not a day goes by where I don't think of both my angel babies. We are still trying to conceive, but we feel more pressure than ever. To be given something so precious and for it to be taken away so quickly has really broken our hearts.

We are now hoping and praying for a very special rainbow baby to come along soon!

Go to the full list of stories.

Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

Comments

  • By Anonymous (not verified) on 22 May 2016 - 06:24

    I didn't even realise I was pregnant, I started to feel a little different and then one day I come home and looked in my pants and just saw a blood clot looking that which I knew then what had happened to confirm I went to the emergency doctors where they told me that officially they can't say it was as I never knew I was pregnant but what they saw with symptoms and blood that's what it was

    So i decied i would have to tell my boyfriend I told him we needed to speak about something so we arranged a day had take away then I told him and he just didn't seem to care and told me life goes on so I should move on as I was abit upset by the fact we had just lost our first child, Iv still tried talking to him to try an come to turns with it but nothing seems to work it this normal for the partner to act this way

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