1993 was an exciting year, I was expecting my 2nd baby in early December.
But at nearly 36 weeks I suddenly developed huge ankles and itched all over. I was just given some tablets by my GP. I then had contractions one night which I dismissed as Brixton Hicks.
4 days later I saw my midwife for my normal appointment.
Sadly, there was no heartbeat. I was taken straight to hospital for a scan to be told the heartbreaking news that my baby had died.
I was induced overnight and delivered my beautiful daughter Laura the next day. My blood pressure was dangerously high and I had to stay in hospital until it came down.
A post mortem had to be done but there was no reason for her to have died.
I was advised to grieve for at least a year, but my hormones told me different.
I needed a baby to hold desperately and had my gorgeous daughter Natalie the following November.
Maybe I should have listened and waited to grieve because I had been so caught up in the new pregnancy that suddenly after Natalie was born I then grieved for Laura, crying myself to sleep 2-3 nights every week for many months.
With a new baby and 3 year old son I was exhausted. But we got through and my children are now 25 and 21.
My only consolation now is that if Laura hadn't died I would not have had Natalie.
Imagining life without her is unbearable. It has got easier over the years, but not a day goes by that I don't think of Laura.
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