I got a positive pregnancy test on 15.8.16. I instantly knew there was something not right as I was spotting.
I continued to bleed from spotting to heavy bleed for the next 7 weeks. During this time I was passed from my midwife to GP and back again.
Nobody seemed to want to claim responsibility for my care in the beginning, the GP said I was the midwifes responsibility and the midwife said the GP.
They did some bloods to check hormones which were rising and eventually did an early scan when I should have been 9 weeks. At this scan they told me my dates were out and that I was measuring at 6 weeks and sent me on my way. No follow up.
Over the next 2 weeks the bleeding got worse. To cut a very long story short after various A&E visits I had a scan on 27th September and was told there had been no development since last scan and no heartbeat.
I was prepared for this news because in my heart I knew there was something wrong. I already have 2 children so knew how different this pregnancy felt.
What I was not prepared for was what came next.
I decided on expectant management as I was already bleeding so thought my body was doing as it should.
I voiced my concerned to the doctor about what if the bleeding became excessive because I'd had 2 post partum bleeds after birth and they brushed it off and said it's very unlikely as it's very rare. Oh how wrong they were.
On 2nd October whilst at home alone with my 4 year old I started to haemorrhage. I had no option but to dial 999. They arrived within minutes and rushed me straight to the resus at the hospital where I was then rushed to theatre for an emergency ERPC.
I was terrified. I thought I was going to die. Thankfully they acted quickly and after a blood transfusion I was well enough to come home.
Physically I am much better. Emotionally I feel like I am on a roller coaster.
For the first week I didn't even feel the loss of a pregnancy, I felt lucky to be alive and very traumatised by what had happened.
We have made the decision not to risk pregnancy again as we are lucky enough to have 2 healthy children and the risk of something happening to me is now high either way.
2 weeks on I am feeling sad. Sad, lost, angry and so many more emotions. It is really awful that in today's age miscarriage can happen with no reason, and when you leave that hospital you don't even get a follow up.
My GP was useless and I've had to look online for ways to find support to deal with what has happened.
At the moment all I can do is be thankful for the children I have and the amazing support I have from my husband, family and friends.
People say in time it will get easier... we will see.
Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer