I found out I was pregnant in June 2012, I was only 5 weeks when I realised so it was very early but that didn't matter, i couldn't have been happier, the thought of miscarriage never crossed my mind and then one day it started,I was now 6+2 weeks just some spotting, I called NHS out of hours and was asked all sorts of questions, was I happy about the pregnancy etc, the nurse I spoke to told me I just had to sit it out and wait... for 2 full days I miscarried, it was horrible, my partner didn't know what to say and in my head he didn't know what I was going through.
In October that same year, once again I got the 'pregnant' sign on the test.
I was apprehensive, scared, felt sick, just didn't know what to do or how to feel, my doctor told me chances of it happening again where slim...
I had some slight spotting and was sent to EPU for a scan, the found a heartbeat, my partner was so excited but I just couldn't get excited, I just knew things weren't right and a couple of days later once again it happened, this time i was 8 weeks, I sat on the floor of my bathroom and cried as I felt sick with the pain all through the night, eventually I had to basically flush my baby away, I've never felt so low!
No-one knew what to say to me ,I didn't want to talk about it to anyone, i just wanted to know what i'd done wrong.
Then in June 2013 I had that feeling that I may be pregnant, I took another test, once again it showed I was pregnant, all those familiar feelings came flooding back, the nervousness, the worry, the dread that I was going to go through another m/c.... I got to my 12 week scan and they told me everything was fine, I saw my babys strong heartbeat, i saw the little head, body , arms and legs but still I was so apprehensive and worried, even as I got to my 20 week scan I was still worried about it, I felt my baby kicking and it was the most amazing thing ever but I honestly didn't stop worrying about miscarriage until i heard by beautiful rainbow baby boy in my arms when he was born, he's now a happy, healthy, hyper, funny wee 2 year old and he's my absolute world xxx
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