My three angel babies

I have lost 3 babies. With each loss it felt another piece of my heart was breaking.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

Donate
Up

May 2016

by Neera

I have lost 3 babies. With each loss it felt another piece of my heart was breaking. As soon as I saw the positive pregnancy tests, I was making plans for our future. I was so excited and couldn't wait to hold my babies in my arms. All mine were missed miscarriages - my body carried on fooling me and telling me all was fine. I was still throwing up daily.

The scans showed my babies stopped growing just after 7 weeks - it was so shocking with the first as I was at my 12 week scan all excited to see my baby. I miscarried naturally at home a week later. I had to explain to my 3 year old why babies die and how some seeds don't grow. My parents were also devastated and I felt I had let everyone down. My second miscarriage was on the due date of my first! It felt so cruel - the only thing helping was thinking of my two angel babies having each other.

I stopped trying for a while as I was becoming very low and tearful and did not want it to affect my 2 lovely children aged 2 and 3 at the time. They were constantly asking for a sibling and so last Christmas we tried again. I fell pregnant in January of this year - I booked a private early scan at 6 weeks and saw a beautiful baby with a heartbeat. The sonographer said come back next week for another check as the heartbeat is not very strong. Panic set in. Luckily this time only me and my husband knew I was pregnant.

We went back the next week and the heartbeat had vanished.

I felt so empty and incredibly sad. I had failed to keep my baby safe a third time. I cried and cried so much feeling time was running out. My GP was fantastic and has referred me to a recurrent miscarriage clinic. My daughter aged 7 told me she wishes for a baby brother or sister whenever she blows out her candles. My son asked why my babies die when other mums babies live. I don't know why but I am hopeful I will find out soon.

My 3 lost babies are always in my thoughts. 

Go to the full list of stories.

Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

Comments

Your comment

Add new comment