My symptoms continued, I was so angry, the sickness was pointless, my baby was dead.

What had I done wrong? It felt like a punishment.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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by Ruth

May 2016

My husband and I were referred for IVF treatment after trying to conceive for 2 years with no success. Round 1 was in June 2015, an embryo was transferred but sadly we got a negative pregnancy test and we had no further embryos to freeze. Round 2 failed at the end of October 2015 when all my eggs were immature due to a poor medication response. We were losing hope.

Round 3 started January 4th 2016 and on Feb 3rd we couldn't believe our eyes when I had 6 positive pregnancy tests!! We were absolutely over the moon! Our little miracle! We had our 8 week scan at the clinic on 29th Feb which was beautiful, perfect they said with a very strong heartbeat. My bump began to show, I had terrible sickness, it was all good!

But then our world crumbled, when our 12 weeks scan showed no heartbeat and our baby only measured at 9 weeks.

My symptoms continued, I was so angry, the sickness was pointless, my baby was dead. What had I done wrong? It felt like a punishment, I needed it to end. I opted to have D&C on 29th March. Everyday it hurts. Everyday I feel at fault. We are lucky enough to have two frozen embryos, I will pick myself up and fight for them, but it's really scary. I hold on to the hope that they mightt just be our rainbow babies. Our little miracles.

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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