The line of hope. Wow that was quick I'm pregnant! Will it be a boy or a girl? What will my due date be? Best friends welling up with happiness for me. The excitement and happiness sadly for certain women turns to darkness and devastation.
5 early losses, one after the other, each faint line giving that glimmer of hope to be snatched away so cruelly a few days / weeks later. The starkness of hospital waiting rooms waiting and waiting to be told sorry it is sometimes natures way. Really? Once, maybe twice if we are really unlucky but five? Yep tests all normal just keep trying you'll get there.
Ok yes that's fine I can just take each devastating blow no problem......
My partner doesn't want to talk about it now, my friends avoid me as they don't know what to say.
The hospital are sadly not interested until I am pregnant again, at least then they have something to test, I don't want to talk to my mum it upsets her too much. On top of this ,I have 2 consultants giving me conflicting advice on what to do next- what do I do? And if it goes wrong again do I beat myself up for not taking the other ones advice?
The emotional, psychological and physical battery of miscarriage can be overwhelming and yes we see pregnant beaming happy women everywhere, do we have a jealous glance and feel a little bitterness we have to correct ourselves for? Of course we do, no woman truly knows the feeling until you've been there yourself and I for one would not wish it on anyone. Good luck Tommy's we all carry on hoping for our take home baby and we wish you all the best in your research and treatment. We hope you can take away the pain and suffering from all of us. x
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