My much longed for second child had died

The guilt that I feel about having one child when some people can't have any just adds to how awful I feel.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.


by Kate

May 2016

After 10 months of trying to conceive, I was so happy to see a positive pregnancy test, and 9 weeks on with morning sickness in full flow the small amount of spotting I experienced didn't worry me too much. I wasn't expecting to be told at the scan that it wasn't good news. My much longed for second child had died.

Four weeks after my ERPC I feel like everyone expects me to be ok again. To have moved on. I should be happy that at least I can get pregnant. All of my friends have had their second children and I'm waiting for my first period again after losing my baby.

I'm so grateful for my son but I'd love to complete my family. The added guilt that I feel about having one child when some people can't have any just adds to how awful I feel. 

Just because it's common in general does not mean it's common for that person. I have never felt so alone despite everyone trying so hard to be nice. I feel bad that the age gap between my son and his sibling will be much bigger than I hoped for and that, despite my best efforts, he's had to see me feeling down.

I really hope I have a happy ending and I'm trying so hard to feel positive but the pain is just too much some days.

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Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer


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