I've had 14 known miscarriages due to having Lupus and have had my cervix removed twice due to cancerous cells making it almost impossible for me to ever be able to carry a child again.
As happy as I am for them I can't help but feel jealous, upset and angry when I see all my friends, family and people I know getting pregnant and having multiple children as all I've ever wanted is to be a mum.
I was adopted as a young child and went back into care as a teenager and always wanted to show the world and prove to myself that regardless I could be an amazing parent unlike the role models that I had had growing up.
I am incredibly lucky and blessed to have had an amazing little boy who does means more than the world to me and literally was a miracle baby as he was born dead due to my body having attacked him in the womb so I very nearly lost him too.
I thank my lucky stars every single day no matter how hard things get as he has got Aspergers and ADHD but to me he is absolutely perfect and I couldn't love him more or feel more lucky as I am a mother despite everything and some women don't even get that chance.
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