I consider myself a very lucky woman. I have an amazing husband and two beautiful children. My little girl turns 3 soon and my son is 6 months old now, but my journey has been far from smooth. To get to this point in my life I have lost 4 babies. I lost my first baby straight after finding out on my honeymoon that we were pregnant and it was devastating and all sorts go through your head... can I even carry a baby. I was then blessed with my daughter who was perfect weighing 8lb 8oz and I felt like the luckiest person alive. But the following year we started trying for our second and miscarried again, it doesn't get easier to lose a pregnancy.
We fell pregnant quite quick after that and I was feeling positive when a fluke doctor's appointment for a sick note landed me in early pregnancy unit.
They scanned me and told me I had free fluid and that my fallopian tube had ruptured due to an ectopic pregnancy.
I didn't have time to think as I was rushed down to surgery losing my left tube but I was lucky to be alive. I thank each day that I went to the doctors that day. Now maybe I should have stopped there and be grateful for my amazing daughter but I wanted a sibling for her so we tried again. An early scan showed very rare interstitial ectopic pregnancy outside my womb my world crumbled yet again months of follow ups as I had to watch my baby disappear due to it being too dangerous to operate on and had to have medication to abort.
Again I was incredibly lucky as this type of ectopic is rarely picked up in standard scans and if they rupture it is extremely serious. It took me a long time to come to terms with my losses, there must be something wrong with me. But then I look at my daughter and realise I am lucky to have her. When I was given the go ahead that we could try again we talked seriously about the implications and risk involved and decided what would be would be and we fell pregnant one last time. It wasn't a smooth pregnancy but I now have my baby boy to join his sister. My family is now complete but I will never forget my angel babies and I am lucky to be here with my babies today.
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