My heart felt like it had been torn out of my body

Why me?! Had I done something wrong?!

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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#misCOURAGE story, 02/03/2017, by anonymous

On Monday I found out that my baby's heart had stopped beating at around 8 weeks. I should have been just over 11 weeks and bursting with the excitement of announcing the news to anyone and everyone as soon we had had our 12 week scan.

Me and my partner were so excited. I'd even started to get a little bump. My beautiful baby bump. 

A few weeks before I had some pink spotting and I didn't think anything of it. Over the next couple of weeks I started to feel like my symptoms were dying down - perhaps it's because I'm getting closer to my 2nd trimester I thought.

I wish I had gone to the hospital then. I knew they wouldn't have been able to do anything about it.

I got more spotting and contacted my doctor who arranged a scan.

They told me my baby had died it's heart was no longer beating. My heart felt like it had been torn out of my body. Why me?! Had I done something wrong?!

The nurse discussed the different options I had. I chose to have a D&C it felt like the right decision so I could start to grieve and hopefully look towards my future.

I am currently recovering from the D&C. I feel empty. I feel lost.

I am lucky to have such a supportive partner and family to care for me and help me on what I can only call a rollercoaster of emotions. 

I have posted my story anonymously to save my partner from any further heart ache. I don't wish this upon anyone and my heart goes out to any woman to lose a baby no matter the circumstance.

What I can say is make sure you have a friend or someone close you can speak to about it. Cry as much as you like and remember it wasn't your fault

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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