My body was still pregnant, but my baby had died

The fear of that first ultrasound experience has stayed with me all the way through.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

Donate
Up

by Jill Denton

May 2016

We had been try to get pregnant for 9 months when I finally got pregnant, we were over the moon. The date of my 12 week scan came around I was so excited. I knew something was wrong when the sonographer was silent and turned the monitor away. Sadly the baby had stopped growing, my body was still pregnant, but my baby had died.

I was told it was called a missed miscarriage. It was something I couldn't understand after all I wasn't bleeding, all my symptoms were there still I was devastated. I was booked in for a D&C the following Monday. All weekend I was a mess I felt like I was being made to get rid of my baby after all I wasn't bleeding I still felt pregnant

It took me a while to get my head around it.

The morning of the D&C came round and I was surprisingly calm. I sat waiting for surgery totally relaxed until it came time to go to theatre. I walked down the corridor hugging my pillow, crying all the way. Going into the prep room I lost it totally. Thankfully three months later we were blessed again, every appointment and ultrasound I dreaded, I was convinced there would be nothing there, but everything was fine and baby girl was born.

Then again when she was 18 mths old we decided to try again, two years later I got pregnant again after starting down the fertility investigation route we were over the moon. Then at 5+5 I had the most excruciating pain I went to hospital, the pregnancy was ectopic and there was fluid in my abdomen. I had surgery that afternoon to remove the baby and my tube! I grieved the loss of my tube and baby.

Then on my second cycle I got pregnant again I couldn't believe it after two years now I was pregnant again within months, we were this time blessed with a boy, but the fear of that first ultrasound experience has stayed with me all the way through.

Go to the full list of stories.

Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

Comments

Your comment

Add new comment