Missed Miscarriage

Story of #miscourage by Anonymous, 

I found out I was pregnant on the 20th July 2017 after four months of trying.

We were over the moon.

Everything went swimmingly until week six when I started to feel insanely sick on a daily basis. I could barely eat, couldn't go near red meat and felt like I was suffering from a constant hangover! I was encouraged by friends and family that sickness was a sign of a healthy pregnancy! 

I went to my 12 week scan on the 15th September 2017 excited for the greatest day of my life (seeing our little one on the big screen), however, I was told our baby had died at 8 weeks and 4 days and I had suffered from a missed miscarriage. I was devestated. Deciding to have the operation was one of the hardest decisions as the NHS really pushed the natural option and I felt like my little one didn't want to let go.

On the 20th September I went in for the procedure and everything went incredibly well. I actually felt very relieved and positive for the first time in almost a week. I had no side effects (cramping, bleeding etc) and just felt a little delicate for 4-5 days afterwards.

I was told by the consultant that I should expect a period 4-6 weeks post the op and then we could start trying again. However, 6 weeks passed and no sign. I have since taken a pregnancy test, which was still registering as positive. I had a scan, which showed retained tissue with a blood supply and I should take antibiotics to flush out any residual tissue. I went for a second opinion as I had no symptoms of retained tissue (irregular bleeding, pain etc etc). The second opinion was I was pregnant again. This would be highly unlikely but not impossible. A pregnancy test 5 days later registered as negative. I am now 8 weeks post the op. I have had two HCG blood tests, which I am waiting for results from and I have two scans booked in with both consultants next week.

Having two completely different opinions is both confusing and scary. I have no idea who to believe and can't help but get excited for a pregnancy. 

However, I think I may be getting my period and the whole thing is crushing me once more. I really thought I would have 2-3 cycles I could work with before Christmas, now I know I won't be so lucky. It's agnosing losing a little one you have never even met and all I want is to be pregnant again. It's all consuming and incredibly distracting. 

Sending love to all of those who have experienced the same heartache, confusion and devastation as I have.