It's almost expected to just try to ignore it

Each time I have been devastated. Each time I have continued to work, be mum, carried on with life.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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#misCOURAGE story, 16/05/2017, by anonymous

After three consecutive early miscarriages, all about 6 weeks I am struggling to come to terms with the fact we will not have another child. After various investigations there doesn't seem to be a reason. Apart from being 42, and a bit overnight. 

We grew up in large families and I will find it strange to have an only child. She is desperate for a sibling and frequently brings it up, pleading with me to "just grow a baby in your tummy".

I am torn too. Do we keep trying or call it a day and be happy with our little but lovely family, we have a lot to be thankful for.

I had post natal depression. The financial aspect of another child will be significant. We have very limited support. It has the potential to impact us quite badly, but still I want to try again! Why is that? 

The first time I was pregnant after my daughter was born she was two and a half. The due date was my mother's birthday. She had died just after my daughters 1st birthday. Randomly, the 2nd time I was pregnant the due date was just a few days after the date she died. Both of these pregnancies I was happy and hopeful, the 3rd time I just knew it wasn't going to work. 

Each time I have been devastated. Each time I have continued to work, be mum, carried on with life. It's almost expected to just try to ignore it. Especially early miscarriage.

I can't bring myself to share it with family. A close family member can't have children and I have seen the grief that has inflicted. I have a healthy happy child and I can't bring myself to share my grief with my family as I know it will be dismissed and I will just face platitudes such as "oh well, you have a wonderful child, count your blessings" .

And they are right. But I can't face hearing it from them, so nobody knows. And never will. This is one of many reasons miscarriage isn't discussed openly, or even with those close.

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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