I remember finding out I was pregnant at 22. I hadn't known the guy very long and it certainly wasn't planned. After the initial shock I was pretty happy about it, the bloke stuck around ( in fact we stayed together for 2 further years.)
But the baby wasn't meant to be...I had a scan on 1 March and there was this tiny tiny peanut with a strong heartbeat. On the 3 March I began to bleed. I was out and it was late so a scan wasn't possible until the next day. I remember staring at the scan picture all night but I knew in my heart of hearts my baby was gone.
The scan was the next day and sadly the baby no longer had a heartbeat.
The hospital gave me a choice of removing the baby or letting my body do it naturally. I opted for the second one. The next day my body went into what I can only describe as labour and 12 hours after it started it was over....it was a weird feeling....one day I was going to be a mum the next day I wasn't.
I remember my baby every March 5th....I remember the emotional pain of loosing her. It's been 11 years now..I'm married to a great guy and we have 2 beautiful children. My daughter is my rainbow baby and she knows all about the baby that died in my belly and she asks questions which I answer as truthfully as I can to a 4 year old. I have a permanent reminder on my arm of my precious angel.
When you loose a baby..it's devastating and the grief can overwhelm you.... a mother is defined by the number of children she carries in her heart not on her hip. So I'm a mother of 3...xx
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