It was a weird feeling....one day I was going to be a mum the next day I wasn't

I remember my baby every March 5th....I remember the emotional pain of loosing her.

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May 2016

I remember finding out I was pregnant at 22. I hadn't known the guy very long and it certainly wasn't planned. After the initial shock I was pretty happy about it, the bloke stuck around ( in fact we stayed together for 2 further years.) 

But the baby wasn't meant to be...I had a scan on 1 March and there was this tiny tiny peanut with a strong heartbeat. On the 3 March I began to bleed. I was out and it was late so a scan wasn't possible until the next day. I remember staring at the scan picture all night but I knew in my heart of hearts my baby was gone.

The scan was the next day and sadly the baby no longer had a heartbeat.

The hospital gave me a choice of removing the baby or letting my body do it naturally. I opted for the second one. The next day my body went into what I can only describe as labour and 12 hours after it started it was over....it was a weird feeling....one day I was going to be a mum the next day I wasn't. 

I remember my baby every March 5th....I remember the emotional pain of loosing her. It's been 11 years now..I'm married to a great guy and we have 2 beautiful children. My daughter is my rainbow baby and she knows all about the baby that died in my belly and she asks questions which I answer as truthfully as I can to a 4 year old. I have a permanent reminder on my arm of my precious angel. 

When you loose a baby..it's devastating and the grief can overwhelm you.... a mother is defined by the number of children she carries in her heart not on her hip. So I'm a mother of 3...xx

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Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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