It was never ending. No-one at any point offered condolences that my precious little baby was gone.

We went on to have a rainbow baby a year and a half later. But I will never forget our baby that I carried in my heart but never had a chance to carry in my arms.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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July 2016

by Ceri-ann

We had been trying for a baby for almost 2 years with no luck but was not pressuring ourselves, we already had one little boy who was 5 and a half. I missed my period and did a test, positive, we were over the moon. I registered with the midwife, and got the ball rolling, my scan wasn't booked until 11 weeks, so we were just waiting for that to come.( god I didn't realise writing this would be so hard). We went about our normal routine. I went shopping at around 6 weeks, went to the loo and seen blood on wiping, thought it's only a little and carried on but with it constantly playing on my mind. By the time I was home the pain started.

I contacted the OOH service who said it could be ectopic so sent me in.

After 2 days nil.by mouth, scans and bloods I was still none the wiser just saying that there was nothing to see in the scan but it could be I was too early to show. My bleeding continued and pain, but nothing massive. My husband went to ask could I have anything at all other than a sip of water as by now, I was parched and tired and totally exhausted. This is the most significant moment that will still in my mind forever, a nurse/doctor came to the door of the mixed ward ( 6 beds all full) and said "for God's sake girl you're having a miscarriage that's all, of course you can eat."

I may as well been hit by a truck at this point, I was so shocked, sickened, bewildered at this point I couldn't speak, I turned over and cried myself to sleep. That's how I was told that my darling little baby, that we had wanted so much was gone. I was discharged the following morning and told to take a pregnancy test in two weeks. I did as they said after the most horrible 2 weeks of my life and to my surprise it was positive, I phoned the hospital and was told to go in for bloods but sometimes this happens.

This was the Friday on the Sunday I had a phone call, they asked what I was doing, who was I with? , was I driving? etc, turns out my hCG had continued to rise. The pregnancy was ectopic would not survive and my life could now be at risk too and and I had to make my way to hospital as soon as possible the following morning.

It was never ending. NO-one at any point offered condolences that my precious little baby was gone. We went on to have a rainbow baby a year and a half later who is now a healthy 7 year old. But I will never forget our baby that I carried in my heart but never had a chance to carry in my arms.

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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