I was only 15 when I lost my baby at 23 weeks. It was an utterly devastating thing to go through, even harder at such a young age. I was extremely lucky to go on and have 5 beautiful children. As I got older sadly I had another miscarriage we went for our 12-week scan to be told it was no longer a viable pregnancy which was a horrible experience.
I had surgery to sort everything. It was hard, but in a way a relief that it ended then and not later as I could never have coped if that had happened again.
As I was so young first time I was pregnant and it was over 20 years ago I was treated very differently to other mums and it had a profound affect on my life for several years. It was very much seen as shameful that I had fallen pregnant at 15 which believe me is something I'm not proud of but it happened, and I do wish it had been a very different outcome, but I have now accepted what happened no matter how hard that was.
I think the hardest parts for me were knowing at the end of labour your baby would be gone and the milk afterwards I was so upset when my milk came in, it seemed like a cruel joke.
In the long run everything that has happened has made me a stronger person, and I believe, a better mother. It does get easier through time but it never goes away.
Having my amazing children is a blessing I shall forever be grateful for.
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