"I'm so sorry, I'm afraid that your baby has died". It was our 12 week scan and the nurse's words echoed around the room. We knew something might be wrong as I'd been spotting blood for a few days beforehand. We'd already had one early scan and saw a healthy foetus with a strong heart beat. I was reassured but still trawled the Internet looking for further reassurance. Some miracle stories, mostly misinformation and some sad endings.
But now is was confirmed. Our baby had died. It was an early miscarriage, but we'd still busily planned for our new life...a name...clothes. We were enthusiastically nieve. We hadn't told many people about the pregnancy. I'm not sure if that was a blessing or not. As so few knew it was almost like the baby had never existed.
As parents we felt devastated and alone in our grief.
It was only some months later when I mentioned it to a friend, that she told me that the same thing had happened to her. This reassured me. It helped to have someone to talk to who understood the pain not only of the miscarriage, but also the trauma of the medical intervention afterwards to remove the 'tissue' as the doctors called it. I went on to tell a few more female friends and was stunned to discover that over half had experienced a miscarriage. For some reason it was and is still a taboo subject. I hope that this campaign will help change that so women don't have to go through it alone.
A year after my miscarriage I went on to give birth to a beautiful healthy little girl. I love her dearly. But I'll also never forget the little heartbeat on the screen belonging to the little one that I never got to meet.
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