If only...

I feel like as soon as I got excited for this baby that excitement was taken away from me in an instant.

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#misCOURAGE story, 16/05/2017, by Alyssa

I was at work one day and I saw the cutest little 3 month old baby. While I was working I thought to myself "I should have started my period last week"! To me that's late actually, I'm always regular and I even write it in my calendar every time I start my period.

After work I went to the nearest drug store by my house and I bought 2 pregnancy tests. I took these pregnancy tests and the first one had 2 double lines.

I thought I'd done something wrong, "maybe I was holding the stick at an upwards angle".

After taking the second test it had the same 2 double lines. It was bit of a shock because I wasn't planning on getting pregnant. My boyfriend was pretty surprised as well but a bit more excited than I was.

I was already 5 weeks pregnant and around 9 weeks is when I had my first ultrasound. I was very excited, I couldn't even sleep that night before.

As I was laying down she had put the warm gel on my stomach and it only took me about a minute to realize something was wrong.

The sonographer was also quiet and told me that my doctor would call me for my results.

I had no idea what that had meant and as she was walking me out the tears had fallen little by little. I suddenly felt this empty feeling inside my stomach, my whole body got very warm and I just knew. 

The next day I got a call from my OB (I did not want to answer), I picked up and as soon as she said "Alyssa, I am so sorry to tell you this over the phone" I already knew it was bad news. 

I feel like as soon as I got excited for this baby that excitement was taken away from me in an instant.

Telling myself "If only I had found out sooner I would have been taking my prenatal pills and taking care of myself better".

"If only I have had you in my arms right now what my life would have been like".

"If only i had been that 3 instead of that 1 in 4"..

If only...

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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