by Stephanie
May 2016
I had the miscarriages
One, two, three
Why can't I carry our children
What's wrong with me?
"It wasn't a baby!"
"It was just a trial run"
"Don't get upset, you can try again
You're still young!!!!"
None of it helpful,
It's simply unfair
Too tired to tell you
Too tired to care
To me they were babies
It wasn't a trial run
It's still devastating
Even though I am young
Blood tests, appointments
Genetics and more
I can't try again
I don't want to do it anymore
My soul is in tatters
I can't take another fall
The phone starts to ring
It's doctor she calls
You pregnant again Hun
No doctor you're wrong
I just lost my third one
My broken heart falls
I know that now listen
You need to take this in
You're carrying another
Let's try and keep this one in
Now it is bedtime
Up for a bath we go
My daughter is racing
Her little brother in tow
I have the memories
The pain of the past
I have two beautiful babies
My heart's healing at last
On the shelf in my bedroom
Three teddies sit there
My little reminder
My babies are there
They don't get much peace
With two kids in the house
They are constantly played with
Dragged around inside and out
It may sound crazy
You may think I am mad
My children playing together
I'm no longer sad
I made a promise for me
And for them
I would talk about my losses
To remember them
It's really quite normal
It happens a lot
One friend had seven!!!
Now I think that's a lot
It's ok to talk,
it's ok to not
It's ok to feel bad
It's ok stop
I tell people freely
If or when they ask
I'm honest about it
It's now just my past
One of my friends
She called me on day
She lost a baby
Well what could I say
She came on over
Had cups of tea and hugs
She wanted some normal
Just needed some love
Don't be ashamed
Don't live in fear
There's lots of us out here
Maybe someone near
It should be talked about
So much much more
I felt so alone
But not any more
The pain is so awful
It's terribly real
You truly are not alone
And in time you will heal
Let's all talk about it
Let's get it all out
Let's support each other
Don't suffer in silence
We're all here to help
X
Each time I lost one
I lost a piece of my heart
I'm emotionally finished
Because their tiny life didn't start
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Disclaimer
Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer
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