I wonder...

A poem about miscarriage.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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by Stephanie

May 2016

I had the miscarriages 
One, two, three
Why can't I carry our children
What's wrong with me?

"It wasn't a baby!" 
"It was just a trial run"
"Don't get upset, you can try again
You're still young!!!!"

None of it helpful,
It's simply unfair
Too tired to tell you
Too tired to care

To me they were babies
It wasn't a trial run
It's still devastating
Even though I am young

Blood tests, appointments
Genetics and more
I can't try again
I don't want to do it anymore

My soul is in tatters
I can't take another fall
The phone starts to ring
It's doctor she calls

You pregnant again Hun
No doctor you're wrong
I just lost my third one
My broken heart falls

I know that now listen
You need to take this in
You're carrying another
Let's try and keep this one in

Now it is bedtime 
Up for a bath we go
My daughter is racing
Her little brother in tow

I have the memories
The pain of the past
I have two beautiful babies
My heart's healing at last

On the shelf in my bedroom
Three teddies sit there
My little reminder
My babies are there

They don't get much peace
With two kids in the house
They are constantly played with
Dragged around inside and out

It may sound crazy
You may think I am mad
My children playing together
I'm no longer sad

I made a promise for me
And for them
I would talk about my losses
To remember them

It's really quite normal 
It happens a lot
One friend had seven!!!
Now I think that's a lot

It's ok to talk, 
it's ok to not
It's ok to feel bad
It's ok stop

I tell people freely
If or when they ask
I'm honest about it
It's now just my past

One of my friends
She called me on day
She lost a baby
Well what could I say

She came on over 
Had cups of tea and hugs
She wanted some normal
Just needed some love

Don't be ashamed 
Don't live in fear
There's lots of us out here
Maybe someone near

It should be talked about
So much much more
I felt so alone
But not any more

The pain is so awful
It's terribly real
You truly are not alone
And in time you will heal

Let's all talk about it 
Let's get it all out
Let's support each other
Don't suffer in silence 
We're all here to help 

X

Each time I lost one
I lost a piece of my heart
I'm emotionally finished
Because their tiny life didn't start

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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