I was so scared and upset and my husband and I just didn't know what to say to each other.

I had known I was pregnant for 3 weeks when I started to bleed.

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by Lisa

May 2016

I told my mum I was pregnant on April fools day. We knew it was early but this was the most exciting news I had ever had. Looking back on it I'm so thankful I did.

We had been trying for almost two years when I got my positive test. For the last few years I hadn't been having regular periods and my doctors has looked into it but decided nothing was wrong. For that reason I decided it would be unlikely but there was no reason we couldn't try anyway. I'm still young (23) so I figured I had plenty of time. I had just had a referral through to speak to fertility when we got the good news. I called my doctors and arranged an appointment with a midwife. 

I had known I was pregnant for 3 weeks when I started to bleed. Just a little at first but I panicked and called NHS 24 who arranged for me to go to the hospital. While I waited for my appointment time I started to bleed more heavily and I passed a little lump which I later realised must have been my baby. The hospital examined me and did another positive pregnancy test. I was told they couldn't know for sure without an ultrasound which they couldn't perform until Wednesday (4 days away).

I called in sick from work and waited.

I was so scared and upset and my husband and I just didn't know what to say to each other.

The day came and the hospital confirmed my fears that I had lost my baby. They also told me that I normally would have been able to speak to my midwife but I didn't have one yet.

I had lost all the hopes and dreams of my little family as the icing on the cake a few weeks later my appointment with fertility came through. They said because I had been pregnant there was nothing they could do and also commented that it was likely to be my weight that had contributed to my miscarriage. I am now over a year past my miscarriage and we still haven't managed to conceive. Every time a friend announces a pregnancy, or I pass a pregnant lady in the street I become viciously jealous of them.

We have a little cat now and she's helped me get my heart back together but I don't think there will ever be a day where I don't imagine the child we never got to meet.

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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