After being told in my youth that I probably would not be a mother I accepted that I was going to be a great auntie at some point. So after a few years of hell and not nice boyfriend I found the love of my life.
After a few months of dating I started to feel a bit sick and always tired so I thought oh well hormones playing up again as my periods where not regular but something told me do a test to which I did and it was positive, which needless to say I called my mum up straight away to double check.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant I knew it was not going to plain sailing which even now 7 year on it still not.
I was constantly in and out of hospital having more test done and being attached to drips.
At 31 weeks and 4 days I woke up like regular for my 8.30am wee lol but as I got up I heard a pop and a massive gush of water came out as I stood up still more water was coming out. My other half asked if I needed a wee I should have gone to the toilet to which I shouted I have lost my waters call an ambulance.
I was kept in for 2 nights told there was enough water for her to survive and was given antibiotics to fight infection. I knew I would be back the following night having her even though they said it would be about 36 weeks she would need to be delivered.
So the following night after having a shower and making myself feel more relaxed I started getting pain in my back and I knew it had started. I went to bed to think I try and get some sleep and at 11.45 it started so back I went to hospital to which my beautiful little girl was born weighing a healthy 4lb 14oz and not needing oxygen.
She was in hospital for 12 day and was released a healthy little baby with out need for intervention.
So a couple of years had pass and we were not actively trying and not actively not trying if that makes sense. So after a while I fell pregnant but knew something was going to go wrong and within the week I had lost my baby.
I was devastated but I continued on like nothing happened (wrong decision).
Then again 6 months later I fell pregnant not knowing until I was rushed into hospital for suspected appendicitis but actually it was a nasty womb infection which was caused by a miscarriage.
Then again 4 months later I fell pregnant and again I knew something was not right I had pregnancy test saying yes and yet again I miscarried.
I was devastated I went into melt down mode and unfortunately I had a break down.
Well needless to say I was done with this pregnant thing and said to my partner no more I am not doing it anymore. Well fate had other ideas.
6 months after I had my breakdown I conceived my rainbow baby. I knew it was going to be hard and believe me it was hard, I was constantly check had scan and had to have specialist scan as they thought she was not growing enough when actually it was the exact opposite she was growing to big.
Anyway the risk of preterm was real again because she was laying so low but she stayed in there till 38 weeks and she was 9lb 3oz.
With all of this that we have been through and what I thought my life might be, I can honestly say I have been truly bless with two beautiful girlies and well worth the heartache.
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