I thought my heart was going to break .. how was I to get over loosing you?

You were a part of me, you changed my body, my heart, my mind.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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September 2016

You were planted with a seed of love.. I nurtured you I wanted you , you failed to grow.. I cried for you I ached for you I begged for you and pain so deep, a pain unfelt by those around...

You were a part of me, you changed my body my heart my mind.. I see you on a screen both sharing a sack divided by a line .. how tiny you were both lay there so still .. no movement no sound... within me a part of me ...

A few days later I delivered you , just me and your dad the pain we felt the tears we cried for you.. for both of you.. no words could be spoken .. nothing changed your beautiful spirits, too pure for this world...

3 months went by and god had blessed us with another seed a seed of love and sadness and hope and tears.. I also see you on a screen so tiny growing well my little bean, but then you stopped ...

I thought my heart was going to break .. how was I to get over loosing you? You my flicker of hope... I loved you so much you left me...

Your dad he went off the rails , he got mad he turned to the wrong path what he done was bad, I lost my 3 babies and my love my man your dad.. We tried so dam hard but people told lies tried to come between us spoil what we had, and this made you soo dam mad , you turned to what made you mad which made you insanely mad...

I lost the man I had in my arms .. a empty lightless sole that dropped rock bottom so low... I loved you I loved you so much I done everything for you shared anything I had...

I'm so sorry I wasn't enough Im so sorry it all went wrong.. Im so sorry our babies are gone .. I have turned around and only just seen I wasn't there I didn't cope, I had no help and struggled to function, sleep made the pain go away the hurt leave...

I am picking up a broken home my daughters have grown amid this turmoil their pain I have only just seen, I hold them now I listen I see... you are gone it's just us 3...

But this means the anger has left and peace can return, I'm not scared of you anymore the insane man you become.. my man, my babies dad wouldn't hit me kick me , smash my things call me so many hurtful names...

I hope you are free with no daily reminder of me, that you can return to the man you used to be the man I chose to love to be the dad of my babies to grow old by my side.. go be happy with that new love by your side...

I love my children all 5 of them

Chloe 14 July 2002

Eve 10 June 2006

Noah and Harry 1st June 2014

River sept 5th 2014

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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