We had an early miscarriage 7 months ago and despite it being unplanned and despite only being 5 weeks pregnant I feel like it is destroying me. The miscarriage and aftermath was badly managed by A&E, by my partner and by me. It feels so unfair. We can't talk about it and he seems to think I am making a big deal over something that didn't exist yet. I got an email yesterday from a pregnancy website which I subscribed to when I was pregnant which helpfully reminded me that I'm 33 weeks pregnant.
I think many people who suffer a miscarriage try again. But what do you do when you aren't trying again?
What do you do when you have to watch him be a dad to his other children from another relationship and burn up with rage and jealousy because he already gets to be a parent. No one tells you how to cope with that. We got a dog and the unspoken comment is that its a replacement and this should be enough. I see pregnant women and women with babies and it makes me so sad. I don't feel justified in feeling like this. I haven't mentioned it for months and today I got up the courage and asked if we could have a baby. And he said no.
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