I never got to meet my baby

It died whilst inside, yet my body didn't recognise what had happened and enthusiastically continued with my pregnancy.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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November 2016

Helen

This weekend should be celebrating the 1st birthday of my 1st baby. 

I never got to meet my baby. It died whilst inside, yet my body didn't recognise what had happened and enthusiastically continued with my pregnancy. 

My body continued to change but I knew something was wrong and suspected a missed miscarriage.

The Doctor refused to send me for a scan. I was sent away with 'I'm sure everything is fine'. Everything was not fine.

The next month was spent plagued with doubt, stress and fear. We finally decided to pay for a private scan. I'll never forget that appointment. Suffice it to say that for the very first time I realised what is meant by the phrase 'it felt like my world had ended'.

It took a further 2 months, 2 operations (my first general anaesthetic) and various other medical procedures and appointments, each with their own physical and emotional pain before I was given the 'all clear' of no longer being pregnant. What kind of 'all clear' was that anyway? 

I had thought and dreamed constantly of my baby and our lives as a new family, I had stroked and talked to my bump, I had revelled in how my body was adapting to grow and nurture my baby, I had been a Mummy to my unborn baby and did everything I could every single day to ensure a healthy pregnancy.

My entire life crumbled over those few months and I ached for never being able to meet the baby I already loved so much.

Miscarriage happens in 25% of all pregnancies. Missed miscarriages are rare, but regardless of how a Mummy loses her baby, it's tragic.

I've been blessed since with a beautiful baby boy, and I love him unconditionally.

That doesn't mean I'll ever forget the baby I was never able to hold. 

Break the silence and taboo around miscarriage.

#misCOURAGE.

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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