I lost three souls within one year

Suzie wrote this beautiful and heartbreaking poem about her recurrent miscarriages.

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Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.


December 2016


I lost 3 souls within one year.
Just unlucky they said.
My heart was ripped in two,

My wretched body bled and bled.

Well, at least you can try again.
Oh really, do you understand?
I'm not sure what my heart can take
What my marriage can withstand.

I'm trying to let my partner in
To not be distant or sad
But he deals with things so differently 
And gets so very mad.

I'm angry too at the world
For being so unfair
Both in jobs where everyday
We see the result of lack of care.

But angry doesn't pay the bills
Or make it any better
Nor waiting for more results
Or the post, another letter.

Today more news of pregnant friends.
I paint the smile upon my face
What did I do so badly wrong
In another time or place?

Some days are good 
but some hold too much pain
I wonder how I'll make it through.
I break my heart over again
Not knowing what to do.

No sibling for our little boy,
We'll never know who you would have been
What I wouldn't give right now
To be woken to a newborn cry or scream.

So when you say try again
My body stiffens in pain
What if this time I cannot make it through?
What if I crumble or go insane?

There is only so much heartbreak
We can put ourselves through
I've had my fill, no more for me
No matter how much I wanted you.

For me now will always be
What if I tried again?
Would we be lucky? Would it work out?
Or more physical and mental pain?

I'm broken now
I will never be the same
Part of me is missing
And no one is to blame.

Go to the full list of stories.


Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer


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