I just want to talk about it all the time...

But…I simply say…”Yeah! I’m fine. Moving on and getting on with things. Y’know”.

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November 2016

There it it…this constant thread of sadness running through my life now. It's just always there like a really sad shadow.

I eat and it's there, I sleep and it's there, I laugh and then feel guilty because it's there. This sadness won't leave me. I function and go out, see friends, have dinner…but I don’t feel like myself anymore.

All I want to do is talk to about it. 

When asked “How are you?”

All I want to say is “Hey! I'm really sad and my whole life feels different. This awful thing that I don't understand has happened and I don't know how to feel ok again or if I ever will”.

I want to talk about it.

I want to talk about what happened physically, to describe the pain and the blood.

I want to talk about it. I want to talk about how I’m almost terrified to have a period again because it’s going to bring it all back. 

I want to talk about it. I want to talk about how I’m so scared that this will taint any future pregnancies, I hope to have, and fill it with fear. 

I still want to cry. I still want to talk about it. I just want to talk about it.

But…in reply I simply say…”Yeah! I’m fine. Moving on and getting on with things. Y’know”.

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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