I just burst into tears. I couldn't believe it.

It's been two months and although we're trying again I will never forget the short time we had our baby.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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by Kimberley Baggett

May 2016

I'm 26 years old and very healthy physically. This didn't stop me from going through a heartache I'd never forget. My partner and I felt it was time to try for our second child, I couldn't have been happier! Two months in we fell pregnant. I was going through a tough time with depression and anxiety and when I fell pregnant it was touch and go emotionally with all the hormones etc, but it got better.

Soon I was happy in every element of my life, I have a beautiful son, loving partner and supportive family, and now a baby on the way. I was feeling sick almost every day and was sensitive to smell I really thought this one was going to be a girl. Mothers' day came and I felt stressed for some reason but very happy and emotional. We went for a mothers' day lunch and that's when it started to go wrong. I was struggling with my son as he was arguing and I got upset and went to the toilet.

I didn't expect to see the blood. Absolutely frightened I told my partner and as we had already ordered our food stayed to eat before rushing to A&E. After three hours of waiting and a blood test we were told to come back for a scan two days later. I was very upset and concerned but kept on hoping. Tuesday came and I went with my parents to my scan. I saw her for the first time, she had a heartbeat.

I was so relieved but didn't feel like that was the end.

Two days had passed and I was still bleeding, and on day two I had passed a clot. I just burst into tears. I couldn't believe it. I rushed to the hospital with my mum. After more waiting and more tests we were told to come back for a scan the next day. The day of the scan I received my little cow and gate gift which was a little cow. It came with me in the hope everything was OK. Sadly the baby couldn't be seen on the scan. It had died. I was so upset, I couldn't understand why me? I'm healthy and happy why? I had had a missed miscarriage meaning it's doomed from the start.

I opted for surgery just in case it didn't pass naturally. It came to the day of the surgery and I was nervous. I took my little cow with me and it stayed with me until surgery was completed. I came to and was in such a state, this was it, it was over no more baby. The next few days were hard. I lost my nausea, my smell wasn't sensitive and my stomach was going down. It's been two months and although we're trying again I will never forget the short time we had you. I bought an orchid to look at in memory on the day we should have seen her for the first time. Miss her everyday xxx

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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