by Laura Sandon-Webb
I first fell pregnant in August 2009. At this time I was so excited, I had done the tests, informed the doctors and was looking forward to sharing our news. However, from about 8 weeks I started to bleed, small amounts but bright red! The doctor coldly told me in a phone consultation that I was probably having a miscarriage and it was ok as I was young and could try again.
After going to A&E, when the bleeding got heavier, I was referred to the EPAC clinic, where they could see a sac around 6 weeks with no heartbeat. We were told to go back two weeks later. We didn't need to! That weekend I passed my baby, it was painful and I felt alone, even though my husband was there with me all along.
Four months later I was pregnant again, but the bleeding had already begun before I knew and again I passed my baby.
However two months after this I found out I was pregnant again, which resulted in my first little boy.
Scarily I bled this time, but a lovely doctor got me in for early scans and ensured I was monitored all the way through
Four years later we were ready to try again. I fell pregnant quickly and was overjoyed that I had all the symptoms. However I bled heavily one evening. I got in for an early scan which showed a sac, too young to decide if it was viable. The bleeding continued and I passed a large clot. I went back for my second scan broken and in tears from the moment I lay down. The sonographer was wonderful, offered me tissues and even held me before starting my scan.
Then it happened, she turned to me with a huge smile and showed me the screen. There was my little bean, heart pounding! She could also see a dark patch, which turns out was his twin. This was bittersweet but at least one was still there. This little one was born in June 2015.
I will not have any more babies, I will remember the ones I lost. I talk about my miscarriages to give support to those who are suffering. I see all women who have held a baby in them, no matter for how long, as mothers. We must support each other xxxx
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