I had my son in 2006 he was 14 weeks early born at 26 weeks, they never found out why, as a result he has cerebal palsy, blind, epilepsy plus other things.
We decided to wait until he was at school to try for anymore as he took so much care.
We started trying in 2010, I had my first miscarriage in the Sept, my second in July 2011 my 3rd Dec 2011, I was referred to the hospital at that point, I had every test going I was poked and prodded even had exploratory surgery which showed lesions on my uterus but they were caused by the miscarriages.
But every test was clear so I was waiting for my post op appointment and in that time I had my 4th it took months for my hormone levels to return to normal having to go back for blood tests every week then fortnightly, they even had a consultant have a look but they couldn't answer why it was taking so long but eventually they did return to normal.
It was at that point we decided to stop trying.
They had never counted my sons prem birth into the equation until after the 4th, they counted it as lucky he stayed put as long as he did.
When I told them we had decided to stop trying they said it was probably for the best as they had no idea why I was losing them.
We decided to look into adoption but because of my sons needs we have been turned down 4 times. So we are now a family of 3 with 2 doggies, they are my babies now.
I have 4 little stars on my wrist for my angel babies.
I will always think about what could have been and it will always hurt in a way no-one who has experienced it will understand.
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