I didn't know which way to turn and felt a failure.

Six months after my last loss I am still too afraid to try again.

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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May 2016

We have a lovely, healthy two year old daughter and we decided to try for our second child. Amazingly we got pregnant first time and were thrilled. From the start it didn't feel the same. I had no pregnancy symptoms. With my first pregnancy I was already experiencing strong symptoms and extreme nausea by 5 weeks. This pregnancy, at five weeks I had a bleed. No pain etc so the GP said, see how things go as it was too early to scan.

So we carried on, had my booking in appointment with the midwife and it all started to seem real. Then at 7 weeks I started to bleed, a scan was arranged and at 7 weeks 3 days the scan confirmed I had lost our baby. It was a painful experience both physically and emotionally.

Three months later I got pregnant again but once again there were no symptoms. The same thing happened though at 6 weeks this time. The scan confirmed I had lost my baby. About a month later I went to my GP again who had been very supportive.

I didn't know which way to turn and felt a failure.

He decided to refer me, due to my age (37) and family history of early menopause and other factors.
The referral couldn't have gone worse, the doctor insisted I had to lose three babies, that statistically I have a higher chance of another miscarriage and we are 'an older couple trying to conceive'.

She even went on to question if I had actually been pregnant at all or whether it a late period! I was destroyed and left feeling more hopeless than ever and too afraid to try for another baby. Six months after my last loss I am still too afraid to try again. Following my second miscarriage my health hasn't been great. I've been diagnosed with hypothyroidism (which the GP says is almost certainly the cause of the miscarriages). I'm now undergoing tests for autoimmune diseases due to progressive ill health. 

I feel my chances of another child are diminishing daily and I am so sad, that I won't hold my own newborn again.
I don't think women should have to endure 3 losses. A simple blood test revealed the reason behind mine. Had I got pregnant again I would have almost certainly miscarried again. I wish love and strength to all women in this terrible turmoil.

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Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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