#misCOURAGE story, 09/02/2017, by Tracy
Finding out I was pregnant in May 2014 was so exciting, my partner and I started making plans right away.
However two days before our 12 week scan I noticed some spotting. I tried to reassure myself that everything would be ok but couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong so called the Early Pregnancy Unit for some advice. They booked me in for the next day.
I couldn't sleep at all that night, I was preparing myself for the worst.
At the hospital a pregnancy test came back positive which provided some relief but 5 minutes later that all changed. The sonographer could only find a foetal pole, no heartbeat, no baby.
I was asked if I was sure of my dates, I was positive. But still I was sent home and told to come back in 2 weeks for another scan.
That's when I started to read up on missed miscarriage, I then understood what was happening to me. To still be producing pregnancy hormones but not actually be pregnant was so confusing.
Those 2 weeks were torture. Family tried to keep us positive but myself and my partner knew that we were prolonging the inevitable.
So 2 weeks later on the 29th of July 2014 we dragged ourselves back up to the hospital to be told that I had suffered a missed miscarriage.
By this point I was so low, lower than I've ever been. I was taken into another room where the midwife gave us a leaflet on missed miscarriage and talked us through our options.
1. Wait it out to miscarry naturally- this could take weeks.
2. Medical management.
3. Surgical management.
We chose the medical management route as the best option for us and I was booked in for 31st July. My bloods were taken and I was sent home.
On the day of the medical management nothing went to plan. My cervix just would not open and after 12 hours in hospital I was sent home and told to phone the hospital if I started to bleed.
As soon as I got home I bled so I went straight back in only to stop bleeding again.
I was kept in overnight and sent for a scan in the morning which confirmed that the majority of the sac was still present. I then had to decide whether to try medical management again or surgery.
By this time I was so exhausted I opted for surgical evacuation. After the surgery I felt empty, like every part of emotion had gone. I was allowed home later that evening and cried and cried.
Over time my partner and I felt ready to try again and after an early miscarriage which was again devastating we welcomed our beautiful rainbow baby into the world in June 2016.
I really feel that more pregnant women need to be aware of missed miscarriage and the signs to look out for and I encourage all pregnant women to never ignore spotting.
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