I lost my twin baby girls on the 18th of September, I went into premature labour at just 22+6 weeks, unfortunately my daughters Anna and Murrin were born sleeping, I have recently found out I am a carrier of Group B Strep, which isn't routinely tested for. I still need more answers.
I ache for all the today's and tomorrows I'll never have with my girls, nothing will ever take away my pain, I keep getting told it will get easier, I don't believe it will, I just believe i'll get better at putting a smile on my face.
There are just some things you're not meant to get over.
It had been 3 weeks since my babies passed, my body was starting to get back to normal, I felt angry for some reason, like my body was forgetting them too soon, however, I then had a secondary haemorrhaged twice in the space of 2 days and was rushed to hospital.
I still had some placenta left that had got infected, my anger was lifted, my body hadn't forgotten, the doctors explained to me it could take months to recover physically, I doubt i'll every recover fully mentally.
They were so tiny and beautiful, always loved never forgotten.
I needed something to keep my mind occupied, I've started a petition for GBS to be a routine test to all pregnant women, I've also been trying to raise awareness of GBS by sharing my story on various pages, and made my story public on Facebook and it has had plenty of shares, my petition which I only started a few days ago has got over 200 signatures so far.
I wouldn't wish what I have been through on anyone, it's the hardest thing I've every had to do, say hello and goodbye at the same time.
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