Life doesn't always go to plan or turn out how we expect it to.
I had always dreamt of marriage and babies. In fact I was that dead set on it, I had 5 year plan. But the road I walked looked very different to the road I had dreamt of..
In a short space of time the relationship I bagged on lasting forever shattered. And my precious baby, who I carried for 8 beautiful weeks, died.
There were days when I didn't know how I'd make it to the next. The father was long gone, and left me to walk the heartbreaking road alone. It was bad enough telling my nearest and dearest that the relationship was over. It would have been too much to tell them of the miscarriage too. So I kept it hidden. Buried deep in my chest.
5 years later and I can promise you hope exists.
Admits the pain, heartache and grief, I found Him. Yes I suffered 2 more heartbreaking miscarriages. But walking life with Hope changes you. It changes your outlook, it changes how you deal with grief, it changes how deal with anger.
I can safely say my 5 year plan is long gone, but I can guarantee you one thing.
There is Hope and Hope has a name...
I allowed myself to actually grow to start loving the tiny being growing inside me. It was the size of an apple seed at the end but it meant everything and more.
I was near breaking with worry and all the emotions after contacting everyone I needed to and sitting an empty room waiting. Pondering. Worrying.
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