Story of #miscourage by Vicki Chaplin,
Most of my nearest and dearest are aware of what I have been through.
In April 2016, I had a miscarriage at 11 and half weeks-this was a horrible time for me, I struggled to cope with the loss but was determined to stay positive throughout! Saying the cliche comments of 'it's OK-we will be pregnant again soon' 'we're young it will happen soon' They were a mask-the pain I was in was deep and still hurts today!
Flashbacks to that day, knowing in my gut what was happening, blood pouring down my legs-these happen on a weekly basis! I went back to work after a week thinking I can't have anymore time off-I'm not ill, I'm able to do my job! BIG MISTAKE-i was not OK, I was in emotional and mental pain constantly!! Desperate to fall pregnant again to fill that void my lost baby had left!!
Finally, pregnant again-August 2016! Yay!! Only 4 months later!! Wrong!! I was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy and went through a medicinal management route, constant visits to the hospital to make sure my bloods had gone down!! Thinking 'why is this happening to me again?!' 'What did I do so wrong-all I want is a baby'
People didn't know what to say, they became awkward when I talked about it-as if it was different to normal grief. Grief is grief no matter its form.
People couldn't empathise with me, no one could! I just needed people to listen, not make any comment, just listen! No one can make it better, they can't change what has happened but they can listen!!
If you take the time to read this post thank you! Don't be afraid to talk about miscarriage, if someone talks to you about it-listen it means more than you realise.
Please don't be afraid-as humans we can be caring and compassionate people! Let's not let people suffer in silence as though they have done something wrong!! Miscarriages are so real and happen more than we want to realise! But we must, it is something that we don't always have an answer to, there is no doctors report to say how it happened or why is happened-all we know is it happened.
So please please just listen and don't be afraid!! These women myself included are afraid as well-be that person who is not afraid and be strong for that person!!
I still have not had a baby!! But I am now married to my partner and had a wonderful day!! We are thinking about trying for another baby and hoping to be successful.
Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer