#misCOURAGE story, 23/05/2017, by Sana
Someplace a woman notices a smiling toddler. Her heart sinks and tears start to flow.
She rushes home to her empty bedroom. Tears flow as she holds a space for her baby’s cot. Her heart sinks as she’s saving that empty spot. Tears flow as she reminisces mothers and babies blissfully playing. Her heart sinks as she feels her vacant womb.
She’s tired of the question, “When are you having kids?” She usually replies by “I’m not ready, yet,” whilst welling up inside.
Someplace a woman is bleeding heavily from a late miscarriage that almost killed her. Her daughter was born sleeping. Tears flow as she desperately wanted someone to call her mum.
Her heart sinks as she reaches forty-three. As she recovers, someone offer her sympathy. Tears flow when her family tell her, “you can try again.” Her heart sinks as she is physically and emotionally drained.
Someplace a woman is asked “when are you having your second baby”. She pretends to blissfully smile and reply “not, anytime yet.”
Tears flow because she’s just lost her 6th pregnancy. Her heart sinks because it remains unclear whether she will be able to have another.
Someplace a woman remembers the anniversary of her pregnancy loss. Tears flow because her baby is not with her. Her heart sinks as she thinks of ‘what could have been’.
Someplace a woman tells a friend “I got pregnant, on accident.” Another follows and tells her the same. Tears flow as her friend does not know she’s secretly been trying for two years. Her heart sinks as she hears another pregnancy announcement.
Someplace a woman really wants to start a family but can’t find the ‘one.’ Her friends have all have one baby each. Tears flow as she desires to be in their position. Her heart sinks as she struggles to find the ‘one’.
Someplace a woman has been rushed to hospital. She suffered an ectopic pregnancy and her fallopian tube had just ruptured. She is in agony as medics rush to save her life.
Tears flow as she already started to picture her baby’s face and picked out a few names. Her heart sinks as all them dreams are now shattered.
Someplace a woman has been wanting to be a mother for a long time. She finally falls pregnant. Tears flow as she see’s fetal pole with no heartbeat. Her heart sinks as she only got to enjoy her pregnancy for a brief period.
Someplace a woman has been told she will never be able to have biological children. Tears flow as that’s all she ever wanted. Her heart sinks as she is in disbelief. Tears flow because the woman next to her is boastful on how she got pregnant first time with her three kids. Her heart sinks because of the woman’s ignorance.
Someplace these women will walk past a newborn crying and wish they could comfort their own.
Someplace these women will see a mother and baby playing.
Someplace these women will attend a baby shower.
Some place these women will welcome a new baby of a family member.
Someplace they will go to bed at night wondering if they will get the chance to have another child.
Some place they will wonder if they will ever be called a mum.
Tears flow like a river as she tucks herself in at night. Her heart sinks as her dreams of a baby are unclear. Tears flow as she is searching the internet for answers. Her heart sinks as her head starts to ache with all the thoughts.
Tears flow as she looks to the sky and makes a prayer. Please God just fill my womb,not just gloom but with a healthy baby of mine, delivered to me in months, hopefully nine.
As she closes her eyes, she whispers, “Fill my womb tomorrow not just with sorrow.”
Read more from Sana at Trying For Baby.
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