This is a fear we need to over come. Speak out

We can talk about cancer and finally people are being more open about mental illness; now it's miscarriages turn.

Mary-Jo Grant

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.


#misCOURAGE story, 08/03/2017, by Mary-Jo Grant

My Story

We need to break the silence. They tell us it's good to talk, a problem shared is a problem halved, yet miscarriage remains the unspoken.

1 in 4 pregnancies result in a miscarriage. We will all know someone who has experienced this, but unfortunately they most likely haven't shared this with you. 

See how I refer to miscarriage as "this" and "it", no one wants to talk about "it", as if its shameful. It's no-ones fault. It's not a punishment. Invariably it just shear bad luck. 

We can talk about cancer and finally people are being more open about mental illness; now it's miscarriages turn. 

It's easy for me to speak I hear you say, we have been blessed with two healthy children. I certainly couldn't have spoken before now about my 3 previous miscarriages. Now, after number 4 I want to speak.

I do understand what it feels like to be at the bottom when your still hoping for that precious first child. Smiling when people ask "are you not planning kids?" when inside you are screaming.

I've been there.

Congratulating friends on their fabulous news while thinking why not us. I've been the girl who has taken a few days off with a "cold heavy". These days I really missed my mam.

So there you go, that's my story. I sit here still wondering whether to post this or just delete....I'd rather walk a tight rope, or go to work in my underwear - this is a fear we need to over come. Speak out. 

For those blissfully unaware of a couples situation, think twice before opening your mouth - words can hurt. 

And for those who are amongst this despair, don't give up hope, we didn't. Continued hope gave us Ava and further hope blessed us with Ianna. 

Go on everyone, women and men (miscarriage isn't just a "lady problem") like, share and even have the courage to comment!


Go to the full list of stories.


Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer


Please note that these comments are monitored but not answered by Tommy’s. Please call your GP or maternity unit if you have concerns about your health or your baby’s health.

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