#misCOURAGE story, 24/02/2017, by Elizabeth Byrne
After one healthy full term pregnancy I thought we'd have no problems giving our son a sibling, but I was wrong.
When I found out I was pregnant I was v.excited but that was short lived when I started bleeding and just felt things weren't right. A trip to the GP who then sent me to hospital proved this when it was found I had an ectopic pregnancy.
I was operated on the exit day - Good Friday, but it certainly wasn't good for me.
With one tube less I vaguely remember the doctor telling me my chances had been reduced slightly but was in too much of a state to take it in.
It was another 6months before I feel pregnant again and because I'd had an ectopic I was told to go for an early scan - well it was too early for them to see anything.
When I went back a week later it wasn't good news, and because I didn't lose it naturally I had to go into hospital to have it done medically and they talked about it possibly being molar so they sent it off for tests, it wasn't.
6 months on from then I fell pregnant again - I wanted to feel excited but was in tears the whole time until I had my early scan as I didn't want to jinx it.
Scan was fine but a few weeks later I bleed and lost it - again not naturally so another op, a missed miscarriage this time?
My goal at this time was just to have a baby but wondered how much more heartache I could take (& people telling me at least I could get pregnant wasn't helping).
After 3 miscarriages (the ectopic pregnancy counted as miscarriage) I was advised to have tests. We paid for these privately in the hope it'd would be done quickly.
There were and showed I had nothing wrong (I was kind of hoping there would be then it could be fixed).
About 6 months on I fell pregnant again and finally had my second child - I spent everyday of my pregnancy expecting the worse and all my family/friends told me not too.
I asked for extra scans but was given none.
My midwife appreciated what a state I was in and saw me more often than she would a second time mum but until I held my son I couldn't relax.
Even now I think about the babies who never made it to this world and can't imagine ever getting over my loss. It gets easier over a time and I appreciate I have been v.lucky having two children. Xx
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