#misCOURAGE 01/11/17 by Amy
I'm pretty sure everyone who is trying for a baby dreams of the moment they get to present a positive pregnancy test to their partner. You imagine that the air in the room will flutter with love and excitement.
For me that didn't happen.
After a suspiciously faint positive test half-way through a week's holiday abroad that was the followed up by a period like bleed, I assumed I had experienced a chemical pregnancy. We were sad but thought it would have been too lucky for us to conceive in our first month of trying anyway.
When I got home I took another test which came up as a strong positive. Confused, I phoned the doctor and was referred to our local maternity unit.
Bloods at the early pregnancy unit confirmed that I was pregnant but the hcg levels were lower than expected. Over the course of the next week I had more bloods done which fluctuated all over the place. For a week I had to live in a state of turmoil and confusion. I knew that the pregnancy wasn't viable but nobody was telling me that straight. I started bleeding on a Friday evening, phoned the midwife in a panic and was told to wait until Monday as it was the weekend...
On that Monday I remember saying to the nurse, "I'm worried it might be ectopic." Her reply was that it probably wasn't. And that was that.
Until I had an early scan which confirmed there was no pregnancy in the uterus. I was told to go immediately to hospital and was admitted overnight. The next day I had keyhole surgery that resulted in the loss of my left fallopian tube. Nobody came to explain to me why the whole tube was taken and nobody spoke to me about my future fertility. When I asked the doctor the next day on his rounds he just told me not to worry.
I'm 25 years old, healthy and one tube down. Of course I'm going to worry.
I know I should be grateful that the ectopic was caught before it ruptured and I know I should be grateful that thanks to the NHS I received life saving surgery for free. But how are we supposed to get over the stigma of miscarriage and the shroud that covers an ectopic pregnancy when the staff at the hospital who work day in and day out with these cases don't speak to their patients openly about what has happened?
Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer