#misCOURAGE story, 22/05/2017, by anonymous
I suffered an early miscarriage at 9 weeks and 2 days, 1st pregnancy.
Without the love and support from my partner, immediate family and amazing group of friends and workmates, I have no idea how I would have gotten through it.
There is some strange taboo about no one talking about miscarriage, even though the statistics of it happening are so high. I never realized until it happened to us that it is 1 in 4.
How strange that at the same time as I found out I was pregnant, I made the 4th member of staff in our company to be pregnant, and the one to lose their precious baby, 1 in 4 really hit home!
I'm not usually a jealous person, and then all of a sudden jealously overtook me, the worst possible feeling ever, and no idea how to control or stop it.
I can honestly say that the worst thing is the ignorance of people. Some think "oh you were only..... amount of weeks" that is not the point, the point is I WAS! that tiny number of weeks meant the world to me, and I won't be just brushing the whole thing under the carpet.
I was 9 weeks and 2 days, and every Wednesday I find myself still counting the weeks and then on Friday counting the weeks from I heard the worst 4 words.
Grieving a loss at 4 weeks, 9 weeks, 16 weeks, 40 weeks, months or years old is still grieving.
Early Miscarriage comes with a lot of unanswered questions, that will never be answered.
I have no idea why it happened, I don't know what sex our baby was, we don't even have a scan picture and I don't know why it had to happen to me.
I can honestly say that if we do fall pregnant again in the future, I dread going to my Doctors after taking a home pregnancy test and being asked the question "is this your first pregnancy?"
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