It was my first pregnancy and it was March 1997. I had my first scan at 9 weeks in January and heartbeat was strong and everything was fine. I woke up to find that I was bleeding. I was just over 15 weeks pregnant. I didn't know who to contact so made an emergency appointment with my GP. He used a Doppler to listen but didn't tell me anything. He gave me a letter and told me to attend maternity hospital the following morning.
That night I started to bleed heavily so decided to go to maternity hospital. On my way there I decided to open the letter the GP had given me.
I read the words "no heartbeat detected".
I was admitted to hospital but as they were short-staffed, I wouldn't be scanned till the morning. They put me on the delivery ward so all night I heard mothers giving birth. It was so heartbreaking. In the morning I was taken for a scan and told my baby had died at 11 weeks. I was taken back to the delivery room and given a pill, which I now know was to bring on my labour.
No one explained to me what was going to happen. I was left on my own for most of the 6 hours I was in labour. I was passing large clots and panicked so buzzed for a nurse. As she came in a felt another big clot pass and the nurse told me not to look down. I did though and saw my beautiful baby. She quickly snatched my baby away and I was never to see my baby again.
Things went from bad to worse and I ended up passing larger clots so was rushed into the operating theatre for an emergency procedure. Afterwards I was taken back to the same room I had miscarried in and left alone again. A few hours later a nurse came in and handed me a leaflet on miscarriage and told me it was just 1 of those things. No words of comfort. She then told me it was time for me to go home.
To this day I am still haunted by this experience and the lack of care and compassion with which I was treated. I think of my "Angel" every day.
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