Story of #miscourage by Kate,
I am 31, act like I am 20.
I've lost my wallet again, shoot where's my bank card.. wait what I didn't hear you right... are you sure I am pregnant. I'm happy, question how on earth am I going to look after someone else, I can't even remember to do washing on time, bikini bottoms to work again today.
Over the weeks the idea sets in, I like the idea, I see others doing it and think I am going to rock at this. My boobs have never been so big nor my face so spotty and hot dang I'm tired. Concealers are liars, I still look exhausted, but it's all going to be worth it.
No heartbeat, can we try a little longer, is it possible the heart can stop and restart again, The probe is still hanging out of me.
It's fine, I need to finish this email for my boss, it's real critical and where did I put my concealer stick, need to sort my bags out before this meeting.
Hang on, no one told me about all this bleeding, fainting, intense pain, sweating, not being able to walk, inconstancy pads and that look, just stop with that puppy dog I'm sorry look would you. I said I am fine and if I just apply another layer of concealer I can make it to work and the one day off I can put down to flu, I will say diarrhoea, no one questions that.
Was it that slightly raw fish I ate, I knew I should have had boiled veg, I am a monster. Hand me the concealer, nurse can you help me change my inconstancy pad please.
I'm in and out of hospital for 5 days, OK so I will say I was working from home and maybe say it was a urine infection no one will ask anymore.
Ok this sucks I am done with hanging on, I let go. I take a month off, I go for walks, I see my family, I read books (that's what I tell people while I secretly read miscarriage websites over and over googling slightly raw fish miscarriage cause). I sleep a lot and I chauf from sanitary and inconstancy pads, it happened two weeks ago how am I still bleeding. Come on girl get over this will you.
I am still not over it
This note won't fix this, nothing will. It sucks and it's real hard to talk about.
I want to do something anything to help ensure fewer women go through this, let's talk about it, raise awareness, don't be embarrassed, we are not a failure, we are just going through something horrible. Give yourself time and let people in.
Together we can help each other.
Your stories helped me. I am not a failure, I am not a freak and I am not alone.
Women will need your support, your sharing of experiences and your strength. Just hang on and bin the concealer it never worked anyway.
Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer