Being told that they couldn't see what they should be seeing was the most heartbreaking experience of my life

by Rachel Larby

May 2016

I found out I was pregnant at 7 weeks, it wasn't  but it's something I've always wanted so I was beyond happy. We received our scan date at Gloucester hospital for 12 weeks and went so excited and full of plans. Lying on the bed in the scanning room and being told that they couldn't see what they should be seeing was the most heartbreaking experience of my life.

I was sent home in tears and told to come back in a week with no information about what had happened to me.

I then had to come back to check with the same nurse a week later that nothing had changed, surrounded by other women with their scan pictures all happy with their partners. It was so cruel. I was finally informed I had had a missed miscarriage and was told my options. I opted for surgery because my body wouldn't do what it was supposed to.

I spent so much time on Google because I had no help or information to help me understand. I thought it was all my fault. I had the op the next day and was put next to a pregnant woman. Sensitivity towards me after what had happened was practically nil; no counselling was offered. Six months later and I have just achieved regular cycles and can finally try again. I miss my angel baby so much, it is lucky I am a strong person. He or she would of been due next month, it will be a hard time but I hope and pray for my rainbow baby.