After a storm comes a rainbow

I was made to wait a week before going to talk about my options, in the mean time I had to continue daily life..

Story of Miscourage

Heartbreaking stories. Devastating stories. The miscarriage story needs to change. That's why we've created Tommy's book of #misCOURAGE. Read this story now and help spread the word that miscarriage can no longer be ignored. Help us change the story to save babies' lives.

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Story of #miscourage by Anonymous

I found out I was pregnant on the 7th of April 2015, 2-3 weeks the test said. I had the achiest boobs, and was sick every time I seen food.

I told my other half, and he ran half a mile, we still lived with our parents, and maybe people would say 'we're too young' but anyway he came around and we were both excited for being a family!

I remember one night I dreamt that I had woken up in a pool of blood, that I had lost our baby, my mum reassured me that everything was fine that it was just a bad sleep and our little one was fine! 

The 20th of may came around and that's when I had my 12 week scan, there was no heartbeat, I was broken. He was broken. I suffered a 'missed miscarriage' our baby's heart beat stopped at around 9 weeks and 5 days - the midwife took us in to a room and explained it all and what would happen next, all I remember is her telling my partner to 'take me home and get a cup of tea with a few sugars' like tea was going to help, but he did he took me home and made me a cuppa and I couldn't. 

I just cried.

I was sat still carrying my unborn baby knowing that I'd never get to meet my baby, they baby that I had already bought clothes for, the one that I was going to take to nursery and one day we'd see get married and create there own family, all those hopes and dreams for our miracle suddenly disappeared. 

I was made to wait a week before going to talk about my options, in the mean time I had to continue daily life, I felt sick constantly; and couldn't eat, I was scared to go to the loo encase I was bleeding so I didn't drink either.

I felt like my body let me down, it was a failure and it was being punished. A week later we went to talk to the midwife, and I got another scan, they didn't believe me that the baby hadn't came away, and I had no sign of anything happening, I had another ultrasound and was told 'baby doesn't want to leave it's mummy after all' which broke my heart into a million little pieces! They wanted to give me another week to see if nature took its course but my mum stood her ground and said that I couldn't go on the way I had for another week; and nor I could, it was HELL! 

The next day at 11am I was scheduled to come in for a D/C - the consultant came round and I just begged her to look after my baby, that afternoon I was put to sleep and my little baby was brought into the world sleeping. I woke up in the theatre after the procedure and woke up in a panic; our baby was in the same room but in two separate worlds. 

I have never been through anything so tough and agonising in my life. 

A year later I fell pregnant again; I was petrified for the 12 week scan, but my little one was jumping around on my bladder having a great time!

Now I have a rainbow baby, but there's not one day that I don't think about my beautiful angel that made us parents! 

To my little angel baby, the day you passed you took a part of me with you, you are a huge part of who I have become today, and I will always love you. 

Go to the full list of stories.

Disclaimer

Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommy’s Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommy’s and are not advice from Tommy's. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Read full disclaimer

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