Wednesday 20th July 2018
Glenn and I met and fell in love 11 years ago. I knew straight away that he was the man I was to marry and have a family with. We didn’t hang around and within 6 months I had moved in with him! In the first year I also fell pregnant twice, which both sadly ended in miscarriage. The second one being particularly traumatic at 12 weeks ending up in hospital whilst on holiday. I have never experienced sadness like it. One moment you are euphoric and imagining holding a baby in your arms and then suddenly that is ripped away from you. We carried on smiling throughout and had a blissful wedding in January 2010. The honeymoon baby never happened and weeks of upset turned in to months/years. Finally after a few more years of trying I fell pregnant for the third time. Again this ended up in miscarriage.
I was slowly breaking and becoming a shadow of myself as the years went on. Why was I not a mummy when all my friends around me were having babies? How much more heartache could I take? Why me?
We then made a very big decision....sell up, move out of Portsmouth as I was unhappy there and privately fund IVF... thousands of pounds.
October 2015 saw the first round. So many drugs and injections. The side affects were hideous! We used 1 of our precious embryos which sadly didn’t work. To not succeed with the first attempt was a massive reality check. I really believed IVF was going to work first time. We were gutted. I was physically worn out and emotionally drained.
Round Two followed in the new year. This time we used 2 embryos and again we were devastated to find out that neither implanted.
With 2 Embryos left we decided to have our third and final go in the summer of 2017. I was in good fitness with my running and had lost some weight and most importantly I was going in to it with a positive attitude.
For the months leading up to the embryo transfer I travelled weekly to have acupuncture in Bournemouth. We paid extra to have Intralipids infusion as well. This is an intravenous fat emulsion that was recommended due to multiple miscarriages and implantation failures. In simple terms.....it is suggested Intralipid stimulates the immune system to remove danger signals/natural killer cells that can lead to pregnancy loss. I sat for 2 hours on 3 separate occasions hooked up to a drip in my lounge with a nurse sat with me.
We also paid more money to have ‘add On’s’ such as embryo glue and endometrial scratch. I was willing to do anything this time.
On 10th July 2017, 7 days after having the 2 embryos transferred I had a positive pregnancy test. About 4 tests in fact! Literally could not believe it! So many tears of joy. Because of the previous miscarriages I was not able to relax at the beginning. The thought of losing another baby was too much to bare.
Mixed emotions at our first scan as There was Twin 1 and Twin 2. Twin 2 had sadly stopped growing around 6 weeks. Another difficult time. Just hang in there Twin 1.
After a difficult pregnancy and horrendous birth which ended up in an Emergency C section and blood transfusions, Samuel Dennis Wilson arrived on 10th March 2018. He is the most beautiful, happy and contented little boy.
I will never forget each miscarriage and the heartbreak that came with them and when Samuel is old enough, I will explain to him the journey we went through for him to join us.
Nicola and I met 11 years ago marrying 3 year later. I knew from the outset that Nicola was born to be a mum; seeing how she had coped parenting my daughter Katie as a stepmother and the way she effortlessly enjoyed time with her nephew and niece. Sadly prior to our marriage we had two miscarriages close together. The first was lost early, the second sadly was at 12 weeks whilst on holiday with her family.
It was horrifically sad for both of us and left a huge impact in our lives. I remember seeing her hollowed out at the loss, as pale as a ghost laying in the hospital bed.
We kept trying however it was another three years before succeeding. Another miscarriage, the sadness grew in both of us that it may never happen. To take Nicola's focus away from the loss for a while we bought a puppy. Bailey had the desired effect and became the missing child in our life.
Each month that went by provided another disappointment that we had not managed the one thing we hoped from most. 8 years living month to month in hope ground us down, impacting our social and domestic lives. We decided to seek help through the NHS to see whether there were problem with either of us but all tests came back inconclusive. Another stab to the heart with still no answers. We were denied IVF through the NHS due to me having Katie through a previous marriage, yet another blow to Nicola.
Finally we agreed to go private with the Wessex Fertility Centre in Southampton. There were no guarantees that it would work however we were willing to give it everything we could to succeed. A harvest of 5 embryos allowed us opportunities. Not just implantation, but a course of drugs and daily injections to ensure the greatest environment for a positive outcome.
The first attempt failed, so on the second we gambled with two embryos at once. Sadly this attempt failed too. It was tough on us emotionally as well as financially.
Round three was our final roll of the dice. We couldn’t afford another cycle. I was preparing myself to console a distraught and broken women if it didn’t work.
SUCCESS... round three produced our son Samuel - a miracle we hold dear everyday.
So, this is why we are running for Tommy’s. We are one of the lucky ones in that Samuel is here. So many woman are still struggling with multiple miscarriages. Many women are giving birth too early leading to complications and babies are being stillborn.