#misCOURAGE story by Leah Warren,
I had the best 11 weeks of my life knowing I was having a beautiful baby, had brought some stuff and was extremely happy until I started bleeding whilst at work. I rushed to the doctors who said I should be fine because I wasn’t in any pain but gave me an appointment for a scan 2 days later.
Saturday afternoon the bleeding became heavier with a lot of cramping, I knew what was happening and I was slowly breaking inside. Sunday at 10.30am at 11 weeks and 1 day it was confirmed our baby was no longer with us, we were absolutely crushed.
I spent Sunday night in agony without any sleep through the pain and crying constantly. I was broken and it took everything I had to even stay alive through all the hurt. My partner kept me going through it and is the only reason I am still here today. The bleeding eventually stopped about 3.5 weeks later but I still felt numb and empty and in a very dark place.
5 weeks 6 days later I started bleeding heavily again with a lot of pain so I went to a&e who reluctantly sent me to the women’s for a scan the next day who said there was a 2-3 week sack in my womb and looked as if I were having another miscarriage. It got confirmed the next day that I had lost another baby that I didn’t know I was even carrying. My heart shattered even more and all I could think was “why is this happening to me?” I tried to do everything by the book and anything to prevent losing my baby but it wasn’t enough, I have so many questions that will never be answered and it kills me inside that I will never know what happened to my babies or why it happened. Everyday is a struggle to carry on but I have to and as hard as it is, talking to your partner about it does help because you have to be each other’s support system.