It's been just over 7 weeks now. August bank holiday, it started on the Friday evening, I think I knew.
Went to out of hours on the Saturday, no one seemed that worried really, the dr told me it's common for women to bleed during pregnancy and it be perfectly normal, told me that we would have to wait to have an early scan because the ultrasound department are only open Monday to Friday...
We went home and the bleeding got worse, I even called out of hours and spoke to another dr over the phone who said to me quite bluntly that 'nature will take its course'.
This was our very much wanted second baby who was supposed to be just 10 weeks, a little brother or sister for our 8 month old. Still no one was really that worried.
We sat tight until the Tuesday morning, still bleeding, still waiting.
The miscarriage was completed before I even arrived at the hospital, I was left to sit in my messed jeans for an hour before someone saw to me.
The nurse was lovely, calm and soothing, I had it confirmed via scan that there was nothing left.
The Drs were very cold about it all, no real compassion shown towards me or my partner.
I was told I could just go home, no aftercare advice or offer of councilling or support.
No one really knew about our button. 2 weeks away from our 12 week scan where we would have been telling the world.
I understand now that nothing anyone could have done would have prevented our loss, but after one textbook pregnancy I didn't know what to expect, we are trying again for a rainbow, even if I am terrified of going through that all over again.