A little miracle that was taken

I was so heartbroken, devastated. I was screaming the house down.

October 2016


Right first thing, I have had a medical condition since birth which I don't want to name but basically it affects my hormones basically everything! I'm on tablets too. I have to have regular blood tests to check if I'm on right medication. My monthlys are not regular to top it off too!

In 2013 I met my boyfriend we were casually dating then got serious the following year 2014. Sadly march 2014 I lost my dear grandad and that deeply hurt me but my boyfriend stuck by me.

My parents divorced years ago and I lived with my dad but then he remarried and was more wrapped with his wife and her choices and life.

In 2015 I couldn't cope I decided I couldn't live with my mum as she lives too far from my current job. I rang my boyfriend and he came round I asked if it was to early to move in ? He was honest and said yes but he wanted me happy and he knew I wasn't living there.

It was great looking living with him and his family I felt more at home and comfortable, one night we went out to one of my friends Party's we got abit silly and drank lots. I had a sudden urge to wee when I got home after the party I noticed blood and I didn't think much of it I thought oh my periods started great!

The next morning as you usually do I notice there wasn't much blood as my period is normally quite much. It was like spotting from then I was panicking the next thing I knew I was being sick but I thought I drank to much but then I thought could I pregnant?

I told my boyfriend I think I might have to go to the doctors just to check if I'm okay as I didn't feel right.

Then the following week went to the doctors I had a blood test and it came up with strange results my doctor asked me to do a wee sample so I did. He said he's going to check if I have infection or pregnant I explained my symptoms and I explained my period is not regular but the latest one wasn't normal.

He was checking my sample and it all went quiet my boyfriend was in the room with me holding my hand saying don't worry nothing to worry about , it was still quiet I said is there something wrong he both looked at us and said you a pregnant my heart stopped and I think my boyfriends did by the look on his face!

I was shocked very but feeling happy thinking its miracle I never thought I could have kids not that anyone's told me I just guessed because of my condition?

My boyfriends was stunned he didn't know what to say or think. The doctors booked me in for more tests and a scan! Soon as we got out I had to ring my mum my boyfriend kept having a fag after another and he said we can't tell no one else. I said we got to tell your mum at least he said no.

We went home and pretended like nothing happened. That night this slight pain and it got worse and worse I kept bleeding lots and lots and I began to panic my best friend and boyfriend came to hospital with me.

I was scared and if I just lost my baby when I just found out that I am pregnant!

Lucky enough the checked me over at hospital and I had lots of tests and they said it's fine I haven't lost and they said that I must be at least 6 weeks i was feeling a bit better and stronger and thought no this is a miracle baby and I think it actually sank in to my boyfriend then and he was happy and supported me he went home happy and hugging.

My boyfriend kissed my belly which I loved.

The next day I stayed in bed all day as it was advised, that evening I had this sudden strong painful pain in my lower stomach it was so painful Ines screaming I thought maybe I need the toilet. I went to the toilet and then that's my when it happened. The pain got worse and worse all the sudden hear this splash then then pain started again I tried to get up from the toilet and I looked down i knew what I saw.

I was so heartbroken, devastated. I was screaming the house down.

My boyfriend ran in and saw. He flushed it at that time I couldn't even stand or walk or crawl so much pain. My boyfriend rang an ambulance the next thing I knew I was in back of ambulance heading towards hospital the paramedic said I might of lost the baby but she doesn't know she made me comfortable by totally distracting me she was nice but I was asking questions saying why me why me she didn't answer she just said it wasn't meant to be maybe.

I got to hospital and my boyfriend arrived to he went in his car I was so weak the doctors but me on drip for couple of hours and explained I needed to go home and relax and come in tomorrow for a scan.

Next day i went for a scan I was scared what I was going to see or afraid I wasn't going to see anything. The doctor confirmed I did lose the baby.

My heart literally dropped, still today I wish it didn't happen to me when I see one of my friends having twins! It's been hard but the support from my boyfriend pulled me through it.

2014 and 2015 weren't good years for me but my boyfriend has stuck by me since day 1!

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